Work in the front (room)
Party in the back (ground)

Paving my road to retirement one email at the time and in the background I have Netflix. Evening’s choice? going back and forth between The Roman Empire (or something) and some snoozer miniseries about the middle ages.

Something has caught my attention.

It is no secret that Roman ladies used their feminine charms to get what they wanted, be it brick layers or the Ceasar himself; these women could build or destroy empires with just a few rolls in the hay and also were quite capable of beginning or ending any and all uprisings, which leads me to wonder how on earth their girlie bits and pieces were constituted.

No doubt their intelligence played a big role, but let us face it: men will be men and from Augustus Maximus to Pete from the car dealership down the street they all have but one thing on their minds, so I have arrived to the conclusion that the ladies from the Greatest Empire had some sort of insanely tight clutching super powers down under which kept men as their unquestionable slaves.

I want some of that man manipulating power.
I have none whatsoever.

Also noticed that cosmetics and esthetic surgery must have been incredibly advanced in the BC’s as most of said roman ladies have humongous, balloon like boobs, gravity defying perkiness there! not muffin top waist lines and all sported puckered chubby lips… ummm… makes you wonder!

The ones from the middle ages are no better. Now, i KNOW dentistry was not at its highest in the 1400’s so those pearly whites in both boys and girls make no sense whatsoever, nor does the luscious skin or casually “just got out of bed” hair styles.

If there was ever a scary time for humans were the dark middle ages, when one had to deal with curses, demons, witches and the catholic church selling bits of paradise for a few gold coins and the roaring flames of hell if you were poor… at that time surviving was not even the biggest of concerns! so you can NOT come and tell me that nobody had a burrowed frown, bags under their eyes, wrinkles, gray hairs.

I do not believe everybody was fit and muscly and seemingly no body hair whatsoever.

Beginning to suspect that the film and TV industries are not being all that honest with us.