Staying connected beyond A&T + Verizon marketing campaigns can be quite the challenge. We are so used to this virtual world of non communication where a poke and a like have taken the place of a call and a chat.

There is somebody (not really, not likely, not sure) in my life whom I care deeply about, our friendship is turning into a one way chasing street an there is little to no feedback. When I positively can not bear it any longer and I reach out, there is always a pleasant conversation with an apology for the “disconnect”.

That has lead me to give some thought to the concept of Connectivity.

One can hardly have a disconnect if there has been no real ongoing “connecting” regardless if there is a practical or spiritual, invisible liaise between two people; the latter is a magical yet not practical connection.

The universe (god, goddess, karma, the angels, Ala or what ever flavor you favor) provides us ever so rarely with this almost magical connections; it is our duty to recognize, our job to foster and a privilege to enjoy them. It takes loving, tender, caring work for these liaisons to develop to their potential, while negligence and carelessness takes the life and light out of those very special bonds.

The practical connections are our every day interactions with people who come and go, might be friends, workmate, business associates, lovers, even family. Those one require certain amount of effort to, yet they are common in nature.

Pondering on what that “disconnect” -as my friend put it- was doing to me… or rather what I was allowing to do to me, i noted a sense of loss and sadness; not belonging, confusion non-importance and utter disbelief. How can I care so damned much and inspire so little? Being the woman that I am, once I realized how deep in self pity avenue I was traveling I tapped into all sorts of Buddhist resources which brought me a small level of peace and ever so slowly longing is turning into mourning, which despite the sadness it is a step into the right direction.

Comparing the relevance of connectivity with art… painting, for example, staying connected gives a relationship so many depths, hues, shadows, perspective, detail. Staying in communication gives us all the tools to make a beautiful painting. Having none of that allows us to paint stick figures, boxy houses and little else.

I am not sure how much sense this is making, but in my head it does.

Talking often to the people I love, knowing about their day, trials and tribulations: seemingly insignificant things like a car not starting, an employee quitting, a new client, a tummy ache, getting a haircut, missing an appointment, having a special meal… all these tiny bits of information paint a picture, create closeness, camaraderie, strengthens bonds.

We can choose to connect when we have time or we create the time to connect. The latter gives us a beautifully detailed, thrilling novel, the former just a sad quick punch line.

Punch line, scribble, jingle.

Not for me.

I want a novel, an inspiring painting, a symphony.

I want a real connection, not a “like” paired up with an emoticon.