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Gala Guiba

Fisty 50

Embracing and loving what half a century of bouncing around has taught me.

Don't bounce too hard, too fast,too slow and whatever I do, I do at my own rhythm.

Old blog entries 3

2009 blogs Posted on Tue, August 19, 2014 04:16:02

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Sat,
October 31, 2009 20:46:42

A while ago I was telling a friend how my
perception of music was altered due to being all “loved up”, it was quite
wonderful! All of a sudden all love songs had to do with ME (and they made
sense), the blues did not get me blue, those boleros and their heart wrenching
lyrics pertained to the rest of the world, no longer to me, why?? because
finally after SO many years I was in love, totally walking on air and counting
my blessings, smiling like a happy idiot all day; Air supply did not seem so
cheesy all of a sudden and I would (kid you not) break into a dance at the
first note of Cole Porter’s songbooks…

Aaahhh! But those times are long gone! I
crashed like my cynic girlfriends had anticipated, and this time I was so busy
being in love that I did not see the enemy launching his missile and it took me
completely by surprise, I believe I was dancing to “la vie en Rose” when that
happened.

For almost two months now I have been
permanently stationed in Sadville, taking off every now and then to
Bitterpussdorf and when seriously ticked off I take a spin in BH County and
enjoy it like mad, although afterward I do feel a little guilty for being so
mean.

The really tricky part is choosing the
right music, being as sensitive as I am to it, gotta play it safe. I have had 1
solid month of purely classical, no lovey dovey lyrics to set me back or
anything, but it is really not easy jogging to Bach or Mahler so just 1 week
ago I graduated to jazzy stuff, skipping Nora Jones, Harry Connick Jr o Buble
(I love that kid!), mustn’t be in Spanish unless it’s pop and I can absolutely
forget about Luis Miguel or Manzanero… so my choices were still quite limited.

Yet this morning during my run the God
Father of Soul came to my rescue, it was just BRILLIANT to hop around to the
funky tunes of Mr. James Brown, SO much fun! Although after song number 8
everything starts sounding pretty the same it was still cool; even his most
sentimental lyrics were safe and his “sexy” cat calls did NOT provoke naughty
heartbreaking thoughts, because frankly, no matter how hip and happening the guy
was and how he claims to get on the scene like a sex machine, he doesn’t quite
do it for me…

Where in the
world…!

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Tue,
October 27, 2009 23:15:36

So, checking out new work possibilities
has taken me (in my mind at least) to quite amazing places, should I move to
Madagascar? should I try my luck in Australia? would South Africa be a nice
place to live in? I might get a bit melancholy and check out Spain or UK
quickly dismissing the thought.

As I thumb through the pages (nowadays it is surf the web, I know, but allow me
a retro moment) imagining what my life would be like in that particular new
corner of the world, I come to the realization that now more than ever there is
absolutely nothing tying me down or even liaising me to any place on this big
fat planet. I have friends I really love scattered all around the world, whom I
can visit when I please and remind me of who I am, should I ever feel lost; I
even have some family here and there, my kids are not stationed permanently so
they are little satellites in their own right, always gravitating in my
immediate universe.

The reality is there is nothing &
nobody at all waiting anywhere for me, and although it might seem a sad
reflection it is not so, just a simple fact and it has many positives to it.

I could live in Alaska, Punta del Este (sin albur), in Morocco, Uppsala, San
Francisco, Hong Kong or Bordeaux and provided I had a job it would not make a
bleeping difference to me; I could pack up and leave tomorrow or better yet! I
could leave it all behind, just take my laptop and a few clothes and go for the
next place. I honestly do not care at all where I live, all I need is to be on
the move.

Such an indecent amount of freedom and independence is… scary at times, not
unlike looking down a precipice while suffering from vertigo. I have carte
blanche to GO ANYWHERE, DO ANYTHING (and I do, too) I have no ties, no anchors,
no north, no major responsibilities, no mortgage, no debts, no house, no car,
no husband, no lover, no guiding star, so to speak. I am as unfettered as few
people could possibly dream of.

Liberating and petrifying all at the same
time.

I am ready for the next one.

Those wisecracks ask me what am I running away from… it is not 100% accurate,
I feel that I am running towards rather than from. Every new place is a brand
new opportunity to… whatever! achieve, learn, be happy or maybe even find
that eluding better half. I really am not sure, all I know is I need to leave,
try again, maybe next time will be the lucky one.

Maybe next time I get brave (or meet a brave one!) fall in love and stay put.

Stranger things have happened…

The Evolution of
Sundays

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Sun,
October 11, 2009 15:55:23
I really don’t like Sundays, looking back I think I loathe them since I was a
little girl.
No matter the country where I live in, who I live with or how old I am.

When I was small it was awful as I knew I had not done my homework; I have
memories of me crying because I was so tired and I had to go over that stupid
encyclopedia to get the stupid history of the stupid invention of the stupid
print.

When I was a teenager I had this horrid feeling of having to get up soooo early
(school started at 7.30) and knowing that absolutely everybody in my house
would be sleeping, and there were all these boring TV shows Sunday afternoon
and the good ones would start late (we are talking Mexican TV in the 80’s.. go
figure!). PLUS, I had not done my homework.

During college I studied in the afternoon, but I was already working and living
with my boyfriend who worked nights and spent ALL Sunday sleeping -then we
would go to his Mom’s… zzzzzz-, I had to get up early for work and dash to
class, and yes, although at that stage they were called assignments, I had not
done my homework.

When married I dreaded Sundays as invariably my then husband would be in
horrible, insane fight picking mood, a true painful nightmarish time, that was.

When divorced I resented Sundays, I lived in Spain and all families gathered
for lunch, or a weekend off the city, nobody was available and I admit feeling
pretty lousy seeing all these seemingly happy families doing their Sunday
thing. I did have a lovely time with my Boys but always the 3 of us by ourselves
and mostly going to the movies. Luckily, there was no homework for me the next
day, just work.

Now I live in a Muslim country, working 6 days a week no concept of Sundays,
and it still gets me down, it still is a lonely day.

Sunday is a day to be spent in loving company lazying & playing in the
beach in summer, walking in the woods in autumn (with a nice warm soup in a
thermos), cycling around in spring and most certainty spending the whole day in
bed with my lover in Winter.

Those
“isms”

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Sat,
October 10, 2009 07:22:04

Just a couple f days ago I was having a
conversation with somebody who insisted on viewing a specific situation from a
“realistic” standpoint: he defined himself as a Pragmatic Man;
admittedly I am romantic and although there was no room nor invitation for
debate (he had already taken his decision and had proceeded with due
termination) I could not help but think of his approach as terribly
pessimistic, it had negativism painted all over and it was such a shame,
really!

Much has been lost by
“realistic” thinking.

Realism, pragmatism, romanticism, pessimism, negativism… so many “isms” thrown
around it makes my head spin! Applying the K.I.S.S. principle, I decided o hit
the dictionary:

Realistic: Showing or having a sensible
and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected.

Pragmatic: dealing with things sensibly
and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical
considerations.

Romantic: characterized by or suggestive
of an idealized view of reality.

Pessimistic: a person showing a tendency to
see the worst aspect of things or believe the worst will happen; a lack of hope
or confidence in the future.

Negativism: The practice or tendency to
be negative or skeptical in attitude while failing t offer positive suggestions
or views.

After much thought, I arrived to the
conclusion that we tend to confuse realism with negativism: the reality is the
here and now; it is about finding solutions or alternatives for present
challenges. Realism invites us to be creative, active, to be brave and take
charge or to ponder our strengths and decide to walk away if we are not up for
the job. Realism is not about being passive and expecting the worse simple
because” that is the way it has always been” we MAKE our own reality. Same
applies for those pragmatic people out there: it is about dealing with reality,
not with negative theoretical considerations.

Negative seems “grown up”, “mature”, the
news are filled with stories of destruction, abuse, murders, rapes, wars,
corruption, the gorier the better! “Reality TV” is a display of
human’s worst traits: egoism, jealousy, dishonesty betrayal, rudeness and an
uncanny lack of class… That is what we consider “real” and while all
of this is undeniably true (these things DO happen) there are OTHER things
happening in the world as well as in our personal lives, positive and
inexplicably good things, yet they are not taken seriously: it is amusement,
kiddy stuff, romantic nonsense it doesn’t reflect “reality”

So real = negative.

I’ll be damned, but real to me is a mix of
the good AND the bad!

I will grant this however, we romantics
are prone to massive disappointments. I think there is a new breed of us
though: romantic/realist: we hope for the best and see the positive lovely side
of things and are ready to roll up our sleeves as we know that it will take
some –a lot!- of work to achieve that we dream of.

I believe things are not always easy, and
it takes courage and will and a positive attitude to put aside our negative
“programming” and go for it, do the very best we can… even when it scares us.

Just because

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Thu,
October 08, 2009 11:38:57

One of the many great things of being 40+
are the lessons learned, which help make this incredibly rocky ride a bit
gentler on the bones.

We all make our choices and freedom of choice
must be respected regardless how much it might hurt or how little sense it
might make. I feel that in matters of the heart, one should never EVER make any
attempts against Free Will.

I
have learned that just because:

…somebody doesn’t like me doesn’t mean I
am not attractive.

…somebody doesn’t want me doesn’t mean I
am not desirable.

…somebody doesn’t love me doesn’t mean I
am not worthy.

…somebody doesn’t want to be with me
doesn’t mean I am not interesting.

However rough it might get I must never
forget who I am.

On the same token, just because I don’t
like, love or want somebody it does not mean the subject in question is
rubbish, simply he is not my cup of tea.

People’s opinions are personal and
subjective and should not define us as human beings: they just might add a
little awareness, no more.

After 40 I also learned that perky butts
fall from one day to the other without warning… I could have sworn I heard it
hit the ground.

Losses

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas

Posted by Gala Fri,
October 02, 2009 00:41:03
I am in Thailand this week, taking 1 week holiday after an incredibly hard
month filled with losses, some expected some announced and some others which
took me totally by surprise.

After a month together Boys went back to Germany, which was hard (perhaps less
difficult than it should have been… did I mention it was 1 month 24/7??!…
they did not look as sad as the ought either, quite honestly). My Boss (hate
the word!) left the Maldives, and although the new guy is lovely, it has been
incredibly sad, more than I expected. I came to realize that he was my friend,
he just didn’t know it.

This month I also lost weight, lost sleep, lost ALL my music, all Operas puff!
gone! lost clothes, lost documents, lost confidence in my judgment, also lost
my faith in Love and have lost hope altogether.

On the bright side, I am lean, fit and 100% focused on work, which is the one
thing I am REALLY glad I have not lost.

You gotta include
’em sunsets

Mushy Stuff /
Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Thu,
October 01, 2009 23:51:22

Spent a few days in Soneva Gili, another
of our out of this world (-I-SO-hate-you-for-living-there-while-I-am-stuck-in-this-darned-fluorescent
light-office) Resorts.

As I sat there, working my little heart out in my cutesy yellow bikini I
witnessed how the sun came down, coyly at first, in a second it set the sky on
fire, to slowly die down into the the deepest darkest, star filled night you
can possibly imagine.

So Impressive it was, I could not help but write about it knowing I would be
the butt of all the jokes from those less sensitive friends of mine, but what
the heck.

Just looking,
thanks

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sat,
October 24, 2009 11:09:21

I am looking for a 5-6 month job anywhere
in the planet other than Maldives, if it is in the Free World all the better.

Any ideas?

Busco alguna chamba de 5 o 6 meses que me
saque de esta Isla, a poder ser al Mundo Civilizado… y si no es civilizado al
menos con un par de mini vicios entretenidos.

Sugerencias?

Ain’t she lucky?!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Wed,
October 21, 2009 20:33:06

He bitched and he ditched,

dissed and hissed

He huffed and puffed,

Until…

KABOOOOMMM!!!!!

He finally blew it.

After a bit, She picked herself up, dusted
herself off and stood there, hands on hips assessing the damages.

Tilting her head she thought to herself
“Sweetheart, I think you just ducked yourself a bullet”.

She walked away from the mess quite
content for being able to recognize a blessing in disguise.


Arrancame la
Vida/Death of a Salesman

Books &
Flicks
Posted by Gala
Thu, October 29, 2009 22:09:07
Just finished reading Arrancame la Vida, by the Mexican contemporary author
Angeles Mastreta; it was soooooo wonderful to read again in Spanish! probably
the last 10 books have been in English, special treat was the Mexican bit, I
had forgotten how colorful and funny it can be. In an effort to be understood
(at least idiomatically) I had nipped and tucked my Spanish to fit Spain,
although still made fun of my accent and phrases… wonderful, wonderful
reminder this book was!

The story is very entertaining: female voyage through 25 years of her life married
to a Mexican “General” in the post revolutionary times, and although
by this introduction it seems like a snooze, it can get you laughing AND
reflecting for the most part…The title is terribly dramatic as well
“Arrancame la Vida” quite literally means tear life away from me, and
it comes from a bolero… I salivated with all those detailed explanations of
lavish mexican meals, mmmmhhh!!! pozole, gorditas, mole, enchilatas, chiles
rellenos… I know it doesn’t make sense to most, but for those who does ya
know where I am coming from.

I realize this entry should have been in Spanish.

Went through Death of a Salesman, it is quite sad really! life catches up with
the man at 63 as he realizes he is a mediocre shadow of what he thought he
would be. The realization of failure is hard enough, but when it arrives with
the knowledge that it is to damned late to amend… it s devastation.

My reflections also led me to my kids and all kids really; are we setting them
up for failure with so much -at times false- positive reinforcement and
treating them with gloves? granted, Willy Loman did not treat his so softly,
but he brought them up to believe they were the best, champs, aces, the world
was theirs and the result was a couple of badly adjusted men who could admit no
flaws and lived in a fantasy world the one and in eternal kleptomaniac conflict
the other.

As in all such stories, the nerd who got picked on went on to have a most
successful life

Nowadays Bill Gates set the trend: today’s nerds are tomorrow’s millionaires

Quotes for the day

Books &
Flicks
Posted by Gala
Fri, October 23, 2009 21:19:31

Everybody lies,
but it doesn’t matter because nobody listens.

Nick Diamos

A fanatic is one
who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Sir Winston
Churchill

No price is too
high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

Friedrich
Nietzsche

No torture,
thanks!

Books &
Flicks
Posted by Gala
Wed, October 14, 2009 13:45:28

I just watched
Cristina Vicky Barcelona, and although I liked the film and I am a declared
Woody Allen fan, I much rather have him and his multiple neurosis displayed
with NYC as background.

Javier Bardem is
the perfect guapo-feo, my goodness! he is so ugly he is irresistible, LOVED the
music and it was one of those rare occasions in which Penelope Cruz’ acting was
quite natural… she was portraying a crazed over the top hysterical woman
though, so not sure if her histrionics were at play or not.

This romantic view
we have of the tortured artist… I don’t know, perhaps genius is meant to be
that way and for the rest of us mortals it works differently. I am at my most
creative when I am happy, not that I fancy myself as talented in anything I
would be willing to admit in this blog, but from time to time I like to write
stories… well not even stories, perhaps just long links of smart assed
comments.

In any case, I can
only be imaginative when I am feeling content and balanced; when sad I just
want to sleep, lock up and refuse to come out from under the blankets, not even
open my eyes for HOURS! much less write! BUT if I happen to be in love then
VOLUMES come out of my head, man! I can set the world on fire.

Have been sleeping
a lot lately.

Now the question
is: Do we really need to suffer and sink to become inventive? Artists take
their talent as a way of self expression, is it possible that they are simply
crap at communicating and dealing with their emotions and therefore can only do
it on a canvas, or stone or trough keys and notes?

When are you at
your best?

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Books of the month

Books &
Flicks
Posted by Gala
Mon, October 05, 2009 20:56:44
This month has been sort of the Jane Austen theme thing, I love her powerful
yet feminine characters and how they manage to develop, manipulate and survive
in such a castrating society where their only alternative was to marry well,
that is, IF she was wealthy, from a good family or at least attractive, demure
and played the piano… man! I would be so screwed.

So far my favorite
is Persuasion, an opportunity to re-kindle lost loves, a second chance to a
happily ever after, obstinate passion which refuses to die despite the passing
of time, grudges and missed opportunities… I think I have a soft spot for
Miss Elliot just because I am a romantic idiot… I will never learn and will
keep on crashing, no doubt, but in the mean time I have Anne E and the hope of
happy endings.

Just finished
Emma, and quite honestly, I see nothing lovable about that character: spoiled
manipulative brat who must get her way at all costs (and does!) arrogant, rude,
obnoxious and insecure and to makes matters worse, she gets the most dashing
man in the book… what can I say?! I find struggling love more appealing -and
close to home- than a free ride in a fancy car.

In between books I
had a Paulo Coelho.. don’t know why I do that to myself… I guess after so
much proper English I just need a little mental break. Also devoured a fair
share of chick oriented books on how to deal with heartbreak keeping a bare
minimum of dignity… might have to re read those…

Ready for the next
one

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Tue,
October 20, 2009 19:09:03
I believe in pouring my heart and soul into everything I do, be it work,
relationships, self improvement, etc. The meassure of success is not (to me)
based only on what I have achieved but knowing I tried mt darnedest and could
not possibly had done any better; if I accomplish on top of that then it is
like a dream come true.

I am gravely mistaken, most certainly have been proven wrong when it comes to
love as I tend to crash every single time, no matter what approach I take I go
down in flames, big time… badly… takes me forever and a day to pick up the
pieces not to mention the recovery. Something similar happens with work.

SO not worth it! not the Guys not the Jobs.

Passion sells well, but is no commodity; brings nothing but trouble, heartache
& headaches. Passion blinds reason, clouds judgment, creates expectations
which tend to grow into disappointments and one becomes positively mad when
devoured by it.

What is the alternative? how does one become cool, gathered and together? is it
by not caring? by taking it as “it’s just a Job” or “it’s just a
guy”? certainly the person who cares less is in control and the one who
loves less is the happy camper.

Where does one learn not to give a damn? are there any online courses? can I
apply by correspondence? Please do point me in the right direction.

I think I am ready to leave this Island.

I sense a big walkabout coming my way.

Don’t wait

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sun,
October 18, 2009 17:58:18
Baby, life is just too short.
If you wait any longer, you will be just in time to be too late.
G

Yey!!!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sat,
October 10, 2009 20:45:44
Only those close to me could make sense of this one:

1+ months of Ramazan, not the usual meals for the infidels.

TODAY is the first day of PIZZA!!!

It is Pizza day!!!!!
The best day of the week!!
It is cabbage pizza (bless them) but I don’t care! WHY???!! because we got
pizza back!!

I am SO happy it is sad…

Swing & Bounce

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Tue,
October 06, 2009 16:37:26
Ah! what a lovely day! how great is to reconnect with people one so very much
likes.
Remarkable what a difference someone can make.

Even if just for today, my walk has recovered the swing of my hips and the
bounce on my step.

Feeling good.

Lost in translation

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sat,
October 03, 2009 01:59:14
So, I think to myself, wouldn’t it be a great idea to get a fashionable haircut
no other than in Sri Lanka?!
Enlightenment hits me just like that sometimes.
I go with my very good friend Dilini to get dolled up, get ’em curls in order,
seeing that the salty water and excessive humidity from Maldives gave them a
suspiciously pubicky look, “just relax the hair a tiny bit and trim it a
little”, said I an all my naïveté.

Instructions seem to have been lost in translation.

Guy just chopped it all off, much to my dismay and proceeded to
“iron” out my curls for ever and ever, leaving me looking like a a
really big animal drooled on me.

I believe with all my heart there was a Samson-like quality about my hair too,
as since it was cut I have lost much of my strength and appeal, to the point of
getting (ouch!) remotely dumped… I blame the hair, not my obsessive
personality, of course.

Sri Lanka, where
the Boys are tough and the Girls are pretty (according to the Boys)

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Thu,
October 01, 2009 23:58:37
So, we get to Sri Lanka, Boys go crazy, girl crazy. It seems that this is the
place in the world where all the beautiful (giggly) girls are hiding. Boys have
decided this is the place where they want to live and study… scary thought.

I take comfort in the knowledge that I have brought them up well enough to have
their priorities straight…

Today another (lovely) set of twins just turned 13th. I cannot help but to wish
their (also lovely) Dad much strength and a perennial sense of humor.

August 8th 2009

I think it might
be!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Thu,
October 01, 2009 23:44:21
I so don’t want to jinx it.
BUT
I might have found what I gave up looking for.

Could I be so damned lucky?!

July 19th 2009, Maldives
UPDATE: Nope, I wasn’t so damned lucky (sadly) and yes, I jinxed it.

Could it be?!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Thu,
October 01, 2009 23:41:24
I can’t help but wonder if the wait is finally drawing to a close, could I be
so lucky?!! I would say I don’t want to get my hopes up high, but they have
already escaped me and flying around wildly…

July 1st 2009 Maldives
UPDATE: Man oh Man! have things changed!
Hopes crashed loudly, 0 survivors..

Oh! and the answer is : nope, apparently it can’t be.

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Thu,
October 01, 2009 23:37:53

Today I have witnessed several of the small miracles I normally just read about
and think only happen to other people. Feeling incredibly happy and fortunate
for being in the right place, at the right time with the right frame of mind.

These days I have been doing things completely different than I normally would
and I am astonished by the results.

Yep, Einstein was a genius.

June 26th 2009, Maldives



My old blog entries! 1

2009 blogs Posted on Tue, August 19, 2014 04:11:07

Not the same

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Mon,

November 30, 2009 21:52:55

Having a 1 pax audience lil’ film fest: The Godfather from start to finish;
ADORE Al Pacino and even the brief appearance of De Nero has managed to make me
reconsider him as an actor, but still undecided: he is De Nero in every role,
he is the character, the character does not possess him EVER, regardless drama
or comedy.

I had a craving for something salty and a bit of wine: an offer I could not
refuse.

Normally I would have some manchego cheese, a good Rioja, some Marques of
Whatever… -minor royalty wine is normally of respectable quality- and Jabugo:
the best Spanish ham in the WWW (whole wide world); Italians shyly try to
imitate through prosciutto… not even close, not even Il Padrino and all its
tarantellas could convince me otherwise.

Regardless of my desire, no such luck: ham is prohibited (along with
miniskirts) in Muslim land. Wine not allowed either but I manage to smuggle.

In a desperate attempt to satisfy my craving I looked at what I got at home…

Sad, very sad indeed.

Wine which comes out of a box and peanut butter are not a good mix, pitiful
substitute…

Boy, today I sure miss the Free World.

Abracadabra!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Fri,
November 27, 2009 14:59:28
Magic day!! getting my way all the way

It is a good thing I use my super powers sparingly and not for evil but for good
causes (MY causes).

Life IS unfair, but I love it when
it is unfair to my advantage.

Happy Daze

PhotosPosted
by Gala Fri,

November 20, 2009 17:03:51

I know I complaint
A LOT about this place lately, but one thing is for sure, it has helped me
appreciate the smaller things in life…

Some of my
happiest Island moments have been:

-The day a wash
machine was installed outside my room… granted, I have to manually fill it it
with water, watch it ever so slowly spin and manually drain it (same process
all over again for rinsing) and then take soaking clothes to another part of
the machine and press a button while it spins it to semi wet condition, but
hey! that means I can have fresher smelling -albeit not necessarily clean- gym
clothes as I no longer need to wait for laundry day once a week!

-The day I got a
box FULL of chocolate bars… expiry date was within a week and had to be
pulled out of Guest Villas, it was really yummy posh dark chocolate, my tummy
hurt for a week and I had to spend 2 months in the gym after that, but it was
worth it.

-The day (today!)
an extra set of bowls magically appeared in the staff’s restaurant, each one
was filled with all my favs: lentils, chick peas and some organic wheat thing,
yummy!… perhaps some day I will see spinach again, but don’t wanna get
greedy.

So yes, life is
simple, sometime dull, but then something extraordinary happens like a bowl of
yogurt or chocolate chip cookies, that leave me delighted for days. I wonder if
it is reasonable to get so terribly excited over eggplant?

Oh! and ofcourse
there are the sandy white beaches and those sunsets which almost make me forget
the complete and utter absence of… ya know, err… joy?

smells

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Wed,
November 18, 2009 18:39:40
Boob sweat smells like cream cheese

Chocolate instead,
please

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Tue,
November 10, 2009 14:55:44
Last night at about 5.30 pm I woke up with an eerie feeling, I looked t the
door and sure enough, there was a man standing there, staring at me as I was
asleep; he ran away the moment he realized I was awake and by the time I got
dressed (embarrassing detail to the story which I choose not to share…) he
was long gone, ran like a rabbit… the bastard!

I was so sure I had locked and latched my door.

This is the 5th time this happens.

No need to mention all other attempts to open my door in the middle of the
night or rather jiggling the doorknob to see if by any chance I had come in so
knackered I might have forgotten to lock. On another occasion somebody broke
into my room, nosed around leaving dirty foot prints which showed his trail to
my refrigerator, and stole my posh scented candles… at east that one had good
taste; I admit that one was my fault: I went on a trip and left the window semi
open so the room with air, I had made sure it was on the Mosque side though,
figuring that their religion and fear of God so overwhelming in every aspect of
their lives would guilt them into nor breaking & entering… I was grossly
mistaken. I also have seen tiny little hands with mobile peep through my shower
window trying to get a snap shot.

Local paparazzi, infinitely less glamorous.

I don’t feel threatened at all: I could seriously take any of these tiny little
men and break them in half with my left while I apply lipstick with my right.
What I feel is annoyed. First and foremost about my own stupidity: I know I
must barricade myself at nights, so damned absent minded! The fact that I know
I see these people several times a day and they probably greet me with a big
friendly smile while in their heads they are thinking “Ha! I just saw you
naked” and WORSE! me responding like a friendly fool “good
morning!” and smiling back like an idiot… that SERIOUSLY pisses me off.

Needless to say, I refuse to switch accommodation, I will NOT allow a sorry
little scumbag to punk me out of MY room!

I just wish my Fans would show their adoration by means of leaving chocolates
and a nice fruit basket by my doorstep, rather than stalking me in the wee
hours…

Meetings

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sun,
November 08, 2009 12:57:57
Meetings…

If these people went around in circles any further they could create a small
tornado, rendering these meetings a natural disaster.

The outcome is a chaotic nonsensical series of “ideas” designed to
keep people busy in the illusion that what their jobs are important and
meaningful.

Sorry to break it to you mate…

Holy Mating,
Batman!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Fri,
November 06, 2009 21:53:17

One of the few land animals in the
Maldives are Fruit Bats; flying all around the island most of the day and for a
break they hang upside on those palm trees, munching on young green tender
coconut seeds; when done they intentionally (I am certain) drop them on the
heads of innocent bystanders.

It is now Bat mating season so this
usually quiet creature becomes very VERY vocal: similar to a rat with a panic
attack they make these ear piercing squealing rackets like about every 10
minutes so we are constantly reminded that there is some sexual activity going
on the Island… at least SOMEONE is getting some…

Being so aware of their presence, I was
thinking the other day: these lil’ animals are as blind as…well, bats really;
they are able to navigate with remarkable precision thanks to their sensitive
hearing: they send inaudible-to us- signals and by the bounce back of this
sound are able to determine where to fly at no slow speed mind you!.

So I was wondering, if what they need is
distance to know how to move about, what do they do when they are getting… err…
up close and personal? Could it be that this insufferably loud mating sounds
are non other than the females yelling instructions? “To the left, left… your
OTHER LEFT, you idiot!, there! There! No! that’s my ear! Oh, for crissakes! Let
ME do it, Wait, yes, ok now steady ready? OK… … WHAT???? You are DONE
already????!!.

OR

Perhaps all the commotion and screaming is
just the OTHER type of mating, that is, when the males are telling all their
mates they just got lucky with some lady Bat “yeah man, she said I had a really
massive set of… wings.”

Mating does not change in any species.
“So your cave or my cave, my sweet
Coconut?…

…Oh Dear! Do excuse me, Percival
couldn’t see it was you… say, that’s quite a snout you got there, mate”

Viva la
Revolucion!!

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Tue,
November 03, 2009 10:47:59

I just had to cancel a 4 day getaway to
Singapore and I am seriously pissed off.

It seems that I can’t be done without for
3 bleeping days, which is a load of crap.

You would think getting rid of me for a
few days would be incentive enough to let me go, but naaaaa.

I am deciding wether or not to make a
little revolution…

I am feisty today.

Pre Xmas Carol

D’oh!Posted
by Gala Sun,
November 01, 2009 21:00:32
The ghost of Christmas past just popped up on my screen, full force.

I would have thought that 10 years should be enough to get over that one,
apparently not.

Had forgotten how beautiful that particular phantom was… damn!

PS
I just had a very healthy reminder of what a dumbass he is and I am actually
patting myself on the back. Don’t you jut love those reality checks that make
you go “MMhhmmm, THAT’S why it happened!”

Memory does play tricks on us, doesn’t it????!!