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Gala Guiba

Fisty 50

Embracing and loving what half a century of bouncing around has taught me.

Don't bounce too hard, too fast,too slow and whatever I do, I do at my own rhythm.

Say whaaaat?!

Ranting / Raving Posted on Thu, October 13, 2016 20:39:06

So I am teaching a 3rd grade Spanish class and I ask my students why they think it is important, useful, advantageous to learn a second language.. or not.
With loads of help and prompting we figured out one could make friends, travel, help people, become smarter; have a heads up in life, etc.

This kid raises his hand, at the tender age of 9 he already has a manly jaw, Beaver hair and waaaay too self confident “above it all” blue eyes and he spits out, without any hint of malice:

“It is important I learn Spanish so I can tell the gardener and maid EXACTLY how I like things done and what they need to do”

I think he had his polo shirt’s collar flipped up.

My heart broke a little.


Corny Cornelia Posted on Thu, October 13, 2016 20:14:18

I should probably clarify that I am not dying of non- reciprocated love here.
I am standing strong. focused, determined.

I basically took a gamble, I AM taking a gamble and the odds are not necessarily looking to my favor; will know fr sure in a few days.

You see, I just finished my 4th Buddhist Boot camp and I find myself hypersensitive to ANYTHING that might be a personal short coming, potential for growth and development. Whilst I always had a sneaking suspicion that in terms of romance I am the biggest coward who ever lived, I have now encountered an opportunity to prove to myself that I have grown and developed… don’t want to spell the “L” word (not lesbian.. you all know where I stand with that particular issue) so the thing is: since not running away and staying put is a brand new territory for me, I am having a bit of difficulty discerning fact from fiction. I know what I feel and what I want HOWEVER I see what there is and actions -not my own, I am as clear and pushy as I have ever been- are not filling my heart with certainty.

Real or fake?
reality or delusion?
Growth or decline?
Fact or fiction?
ground of flight?

Faith: not for the faint at heart

Corny Cornelia Posted on Wed, October 12, 2016 21:49:54



1. belief that is not based on proof

2. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion

3. A system of religious beliefs

There is a great difficulty to understand deeply religious people, their beliefs and faith… that is whole different blog but i do have trouble reconciling intelligence with faith, it seems that one cancels the other; it definitely sends common sense out the window, faith does.

A few days ago, as I was secretly belittling somebody speaking of god and how he (or she… ) would provide, fix, give, sort out, appear and make all things in that person’s little world right, and then it hit me: faith, that blind believe without any logical backbone is not really limited to church goes and bible thumpers, it made me think of a particular personal situation I am going trough, in which all evidence indicates that what (who) I long for is not feasible; what I am told is not accurate; common sense is YELLING at the top of its voice: GO, LEAVE, RUUUUNNNN!!!!!

Intellectually I know it is not likely to happen, self preservation tells me not to believe; my patched up hearts begs me to move on; stomach in knots, throat dry, sleepless nights.

All warning flags and what do I choose? I choose to believe, to believe in the possibility of love.

And it is ridiculous.

I think this is a sample of non religious faith.
This is what people who believe dinosaurs roamed the earth as the same time as Attila the Hun must experience… if their intellect ever had a pulse.

I know, I know, I know, I KNOW it doesn’t make sense, I know the situation is… dubious to say the least, stupid to state the obvious and yet, there is this little bit of me that chooses to believe that maybe, oh god! maybe it just might work out; perhaps all logic and experience is wrong: what he says is true, what he feels is real: what he wants is us.

Maybe, just… maybe.

And from that sliver of hope, hope that there is something greater than me, hope for love, hope for growth, hope for passion, hope for partnership,
Hope for laughter, hope for romance,
Hope for intimacy, hope for joy.
Hope for happiness.

From this hope, faith is born.

Goldilocks & the musical chairs

Corny Cornelia Posted on Sun, September 27, 2015 19:34:28

It seems I am stuck on the one subject but the other day I was thinking about dating life in this day & age (more the age than the day) and came to the conclusion that dating when one is pushing 50 is not unlike playing musical chairs when we were little; One has To be on fast on the feet, take split second decisions and be a bit of a c*nt with the competition… An elbow here, a shove there, trip a friend, punch the neighbor.

Everything is fair game just to get your butt on that chair.

As the game (of life) progresses there are fewer and fewer chairs and one is getting more and more tired.

Being single and older is like being close to the end of the game; I realize that I passed up one chair for being too hard, the other was too soft; one broke on me and another one I broke. Too unstable, too frilly, too plain, too modern, too used, too unreliable, too far, too close, too short, too big, too small.

It’s like a goldilocks plays musical chairs, she is an indecisive, impossible to please nosy little princess, it can’t possibly end well for her.

Except that it does… Maybe it does… Hopefully it does…

She is currently sitting on what appears to be a (pre owned) Royal Throne found at a thrift store. “What a find!” She congratulates herself.

A short month into it and so far it seems comfy, warm and safe… Wonder if it has wood rot? faulty springs? A broken leg?

Time will tell.

Could it be

Random nonsense Posted on Sat, August 29, 2015 19:27:10

That the best dating years are behind me?
Could it be that amongst the string of men who have decked my halls was “the one”?

Refuse to believe that.


More later

Catching up

Random nonsense Posted on Mon, August 17, 2015 16:07:59

A full year of catching up, catching my breath.
Wonderful, exciting, nerve wrecking year filled with a bit of everything! Mostly visits to Lowe’s really.

I remodeled my shoebox town house and now it is a sassy shoebox townhouse; many, many pictures shall follow.

Had a serious boyfriend who lasted less than 1 season and although I can’t help but feel I wasted a good man I had to run; the depth of feeling -now I realize- was about a tenth of an inch; considering I was “his everything” you would think he must be quite devastated at losing… Well, everything!
Apparently not. So that was that.

Business is going well! Happy with that! Can not imagine what it will be like when I actually apply myself!!

Soooo many thing to be said about children, this is one scary generation in many levels. More on this.

Good god this is one boring post! just wanted to get into the swing of blogging again.
Considering only I know the existence of this site I suppose as long as I am pleased then it’s a win.

Oh! Went to the monastery for a 3rd time an received 2015 on the stone bed, listening to the party from afar.

Happy in Charleston

Corny Cornelia Posted on Thu, September 25, 2014 17:10:36

September 2014
Charleston, South Carolina, US of A.

The ship has landed and none other than in the middle of the very tight, right winged, gun loving, bible thumping, white, white WHITE Bible Belt.

One would think I do not fit in but to my surprise I have managed to wedge myself in and create a wonderful network of friends; not only that but for the first time in my life, a true sense of community and I LOVE it.

Read back on my Asia backpacking blogs, specially the note on my restoration of faith in Men, and what I thought would be the end of the “Wishy Washy Cowardly Men Era”… not quite, not quite.
Unfortunately my “wuss-dar” directed me to yet a couple more weaklings, however experience has taught me to detect them before is too late, so all is good on that front.

That Front…

THE Front…

The Man Front (please note i use singular… hell most be freezing over)

I am excited on that front, actually, but I don’t want to jinx it or get ahead of myself… I am undeniably, undoubtedly, shamelessly, excited. Shall see if Zurich is as wonderful a place as it appears to be; perhaps I get an honorary visa and reside there for a while. Shall see.

SO many things to say about this southern experience!

Leaving mundane worries, this Brownie is Feeling Happy in Charleston.

old blog 10

2010 blogs Posted on Tue, August 19, 2014 20:46:44

Blog Stats
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Wed, July 21, 2010 05:41:57

now and then I check the statistics in my blog: how many visits, amount
of mac users, search engines, for no other reason than to see what my
hosting service has to offer and… yes, it is always nice to know that
somebody might read me.

I have no way of knowing who it is
exactly, of course and I know that many of those visits might be search
referrals of random words which appear in mu blog “Vietnam” “Hanoi”
“chocolate” and other popular hits out there; I am sure using the word
s*x got me several dubious visitors who surely left terribly

One thing surprised me though, and that is the
search by country. I do see countries like Mexico, Germany, USA and
Spain being there as I have good friends and family scattered, but
others are just… weird!

Denmark has the highest number of
people… DENMARK! I know but 1 person there and I am pretty darned sure
he has NOT visited my blog 64 times in july (and 79 in June), specially
considering we have not met since 2006…
Isle of Man?? Syria?? Afghanistan??? ok, those might be shots lost in Google, but 30 people form China???

Have you ever wondered who might be looking at your blog, Facebook, Linked-in, etc?

Got a spooky Big Brother’s watching feeling…

In a twisted way it’s kinda cool, though.

Danish visitors: MANIFEST THY-SELVES, please!

20 of 20 from Countries
# Hits % Visits Country
1 98 23.67 64 Denmark
2 91 21.98 67 United States
3 51 12.32 19 Thailand
4 38 9.18 18 Germany
5 34 8.21 30 China
6 32 7.73 4 Unresolved
7 22 5.31 12 Spain
8 9 2.17 3 France
9 8 1.93 4 Mexico
10 8 1.93 3 Great Britain (UK)
11 8 1.93 3 Viet Nam
12 4 0.97 2 Isle of Man
13 2 0.48 1 Greece
14 2 0.48 1 Iran
15 2 0.48 1 Malaysia
16 1 0.24 1 Russian Federation
17 1 0.24 1 Syria
18 1 0.24 1 Australia
19 1 0.24 1 Ukraine
20 1 0.24 1 Afghanistan

7 Social Sins
Mushy Stuff / Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Thu, July 15, 2010 10:03:50

Politics without principles.
Pleasure without conscience.
Wealth without work.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without Humanity.
Worship without sacrifice.

Mahatma Ghandi

D’oh!Posted by Gala
Tue, July 13, 2010 03:13:03

don’t really buy magazines, they take up too much space and they are
heavy, so I get all my glossy/gossip reading from waiting rooms and
mani-pedicure mini SPA’s, so depending on the place, I could be reading 7
year old magazines, but hey! It is still news to me! the only problem
is that I am not up to date at all on… anything really! Celebrities
marry and divorce at such rampant speed it is hard to keep track are
Brangelina together or not? Is Amy W bingeing or rehabbing? Is Justin
Beaver a boy or a girl and IS IT true that Mickey Rourke is hot again???
Wait, what?!!
I n terms of women’s magazines, I haven’t quite found
the publication for me, there the Cosmo types which seem to be switching
target audience to younger (and younger still) audiences of ambitious,
bitchy, men-hunting girls with shopping addictions, which is all fine,
it just isn’t me, my time for those has passed like 21 year and 37 kilos
ago, not to mention 12 less –than-Cosmo-Girl jobs and a fair share of
Then you have the “middle aged” female audience and
gawd! Those mags are just depressing me! Granted that age wise that
would be me, but I really do not need yet another meatloaf recipe, how
to make my own ornaments or “6 Sexy Secrets to Surprise your
Middle-aged, pot-bellied Husband of 15 years –of marriage- ; which
include, and brace yourself for ultimate kinkiness, Woman on Top. Nope,
aprons and family reunions with crispy “crispy fried cotton fish with
green mango salad, palm sugar and fish sauce dressing” and lubricant
recommendations are not my thing either.
I like to travel, see the
word, but unfortunately Travel Magazines are way out of my league; as
exciting as it sounds, I will not drive a 4 by 4, local bus circa 1952
original ford, and ox pulled cart, a camel followed by a donkey and
finally walk 152 miles at 3 am to get me to the mountain top of that
tiny village lost to civilization In the remotes southwest tip of
Bukiliwinitsk to witness the most amazing sunrise; nor will I dish out
90,000 dollars a night to be pampered in Brunei’s most exclusive resort,
with bunny milk luscious baths and mother of pearl obtained from the
sacred waters of the Burmese sea caves nail polish pedicure treatment…
err… no thanks.
Too political, too economical, too serious, too technical, too specific, too stupid, too boring.

None for me, thanks.

Men’s Magazines
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Tue, July 13, 2010 03:05:19

the previous post, I have found that Men’s magazines are the best
source of information and entertainment, and I am not talking about
–only- naughty magazines at all, I am talking about health &
lifestyle publications, gossipy (bearing in mind that according to men
they don’t gossip.. they share information… yeah, right!) they are SO
cool! I totally love them.
Take for instance the diet articles,
unlike those destined to women, they stem from the fact that humans need
to eat and humans get hungry, so they are realistic, portions are
generous and any recipe will be given assuming men don’t have the
faintest idea on how to cook, so they are REALLY easy
And delicious;
not “25grs of non fat, cholesterol free, low sodium cottage cheese and a
leaf of lettuce dinner” crap you find in those girly ones.
articles tend to be short and to the point, I pin this down the manly
memory span not unlike that of a goldfish, so one does not read
paragraphs and paragraphs before getting to the point. Wham! Bam! Thank
you Ma’m; gotta love it.
The advice… my goodness the advice is probably the most entertain part of it all, specially in the Q&A bits!
What should I bring to a weekend rendez-vous with my hook up friend?.
A: A big box of condoms and text her naughty messages the whole day
before meeting, you don’t love her right? So the pressure is off, man!
Enjoy it!
Q: Can Wii video games make me loose weight? A: if you
choose tennis or football and really play like a pro is a good way to
burn calories.
Q: How can I pick up cute girls at the beach? A: A six
pack of Corona and a puppy dog, what?! Are you new at this?! If you
don’t have a dog, start building a sand castle and watch all these babes
come running to help.
Women magazines have all sorts
of articles about “How to Top your Bitch Boss with her own Game” or “
Your boss: is she Jealous of your Tight Butt and Perky Boobs?” I am not
sure where they get their information from really; being part of the
work force I have never seen so many “she” bosses to be honest, -sadly
most high positions are held by men- and 30 year old women are most
certainly not OLD witches contrary to Cosmo’s beliefs; I have never seen
anybody get a promotion based on the right shade of lipstick or nail a
presentation thanks to Manolo’s peep toe shoes… So yeah.
The girls
featured in advertisements, illustrations or pictorials are barely over
20 –the old ones- white, blond, straight hair, twig like skinny, no
boobs or MASSIVE balloon like ones, perfect airbrushed skin, skimpy clad
perched on impossible high heels and a nasty attitude… there is NOTHING
further away from my reality!
Why on earth would I want to see
hundreds of these girls in publication when I can grab me a Men’s Health
mag and look at beautifully muscled up guys, many in their 40’s or 50’s
(not to mention those sinful 30’s), perfectly tanned and toned with
bright big smiles and healthy looking lifestyles?
Let me see… should
I choose a glossy with starved looking 20 year olds who look oh so very
angry (I think it’s cause they are hungry), all dressed up in a $10k
dress, balancing for dear life in ridiculous poses over suicidal 12inch
stilettos or should I go for this other magazine, with a sinfully
handsome 45 year old guy who is happily drying off is six-pack abs from a
swim in his amazing boat, getting ready to dig into the best display of
yummylicious of food EVER… yeah, that’s one, the man with the
perfectly inviting smile and dripping wet, messy hair?…
What can I say?

Babies no more
Mushy Stuff / Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Tue, July 06, 2010 23:41:36

Kids grow up just way too fast.
have a friend who has teenage kids and they live with their father; do
know that these are NOT my own children… you see, it would be a gross
infringement on their privacy If I wrote about them; however, being this
an unrelated story from A Friend, then I can freely post it here as
there are no names named (my Friend is gorgeous, by the way… extremely
smart to and with a Fabulous butt).
So her kids are now 16, good
looking –despite the long shabby hair of one of them- excellent
students, responsible, healthy, keeping away –gott sei danke- from
booze, tobacco and drugs and keeping close to girls, which is quite
normal for kids their age. Their Mom and Father have always had a very
open relationship with them and feel there should be no “taboo” subjects
as it is much preferable that kids have they questions answered by the
dinner table than in a back alley with a girlie magazine and it is
better for parents to know to an extent what kids are up to: living in
oblivion is just too risky now a days.

So my friend is somewhat
cool about it, seeing how hormones were raging and how popular her kids
seemed to be with girls and how incredibly slutty these girls were, she
took the precaution of going with them to buy condoms, thus making sure
they were prepared when the time came and the Boys had no embarrassment
about going to the drugstore or making the easy mistake of buying the
novelty prophylactics which are just not going endure a battle,
regardless of the “glow in the dark” powers they might have. They boys
were OK with this, specially since she was paying.
Kids grow up, it
is all normal, part of life and nature, blah, blah, blah, but there is a
MASSIVE difference between preparing “just in case” and knowing for a
FACT that the purchase has been duly utilized… and they need more.
it turns out, the Father is quite an open minded (when it suits)
European man who feels perfectly comfortable with the kids spending the
night, several nights… seemingly EVERY freaking weekend night at a
girl’s place –she lives alone. Now, it is quite clear that the children
live with him at the moment because he is the best parental option
through their teenage years and their Mom tends to treat them like
babies, no argument there, but… geez!
The mom NEEDS somebody to blame!
am not sure why my friend is silently freaking out about this one… she
is not a narrow minded person at all! she could in fact be described as
quite liberal and understanding; she remembers all too well when she was
that age, but it just seems different when it pertains to her kids…her
Those skanks! Those little hussies! Young whores in the making taking advantage of her sweet little angels!
she feels disturbed because now she knows that what ever she is doing
they are doing? (God, please NO!) it just seems… wrong that she is not
seeing any… err..” action” at all and that the one thing that she knew
exactly what she was talking about now is common knowledge?! She sees
them sitting there and she KNOWS what they do… no mystery at all… they
are no longer her little boys, her “Hijitos”, they are… well… men, I
suppose, like all the rest of the men… which is kind of sad.
it from a more selfish AND disturbing point of view, perhaps she is
freaking also because this means that there is an actual possibility
that she will be a grandmother before her time?? I don’t quite think so
as she doesn’t care at all about her age, but you never know…

Le Toilette
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Sun, July 04, 2010 04:36:52

of the sensitive issues –for me- whilst travelling are the bathrooms
specially being used to the “western” flushable ceramic bowls and
luscious toilet paper. I had encountered before those “squatting”
toilets but avoided them at all costs… until I got to Asia.
Picture this:
are carrying a 14k back pack, a long scarf to cover all your naughty
parts –such as neck and shoulders- a smaller bag crossed over in front
of you for easy access containing your laptop, passport, wallet and all
valuables so you REALLY o not want to let go of it or for it to get wet
in any way. Chances are you have a big bottle of water in your right
hand and travel guide on your left; sun glasses over your head. You are
wearing loose pants and, most importantly, you are a girl, so what ever
you need to do must be done squatting, not standing.
Imagine if you
will, a much reduced space about the size of a low cost Arline washroom
but with the sturdiness of a cereal box. In Muslim countries you can
expect the floors to be somewhat flooded as it is customary to wash with
a small hand shower which is normally hanging on the right of the
toilet, if it is not a Muslim country you can expect the floor to be
somewhat flooded anyway. I do not recommend the use of the shower head
thing as it rarely hits the spot you are aiming for and you are likely
to get tour back soaking wet.
There is no toilet paper and the latch
of the door tends to be broken most of the times. There is no place
available (dry or clean) to leave your stuff and you cannot leave it
outside as there is a big possibility you will not see your bag ever
again and in any case it would be so much work to try and ask somebody
to please watch over your things that by the time you are done you have
missed your spot on the line, so you go into the little stall “fully
equipped” and tissues at hand.
OBJECTIVE: Nothing, I repeat NOTHING is to touch the floor.
adjust the guide book in your front bag, the bottle of water under your
left armpit (this is important), the toilet paper hanging from your
teeth; tie your scarf several times around your neck so it doesn’t touch
the floor; attach the sunglasses somewhere with the scarf; if you are
wearing a raincoat/poncho over your backpack you can put it over your
head, it means that you will be covered like one from the Ku-Kux Klan
and have null visibility unless you fix it behind your ears, like a
nun’s veil.
Roll the legs of your pants up to your knees so they
don’t get wet as you pull them down but when you do, make sure your legs
are parted wide enough so the trousers do not fall on the floor, but
not so much that you overstretch your undies 3 sizes up.
having made the shoulder strap shorter tuck your front bag under your
LEFT armpit, exactly under the big bottle of water; if you leave it
dangling in front of you there is a risk that it may swing back between
your legs in the most inconvenient of moments…
At this point you
should still have your right arm free, so you step over the hole on the
floor (remember to keep those knees wide apart so the pants don fall on
the yucky stuff!) try to find your balance without touching anything –if
you MUST, use the free hand for a second to get a steady position-
squat, aim as best you can and with your free hand hold the door closed
as people normally just push it open; you must go as low as you possibly
can, otherwise it all splatters around your legs and sandals as it is
more a not-so-deep-basin rather than an orifice on the ground.
finished, be really fast at taking the tissue from your teeth and doing
all things necessary as the door is now unguarded and people on the
other side are surely impatient by now and might swing the door open,
you are very vulnerable at this moment! If you have bad knees, brace
yourself for getting up is quite a challenge: those 14k are going to
pull you back as you stand up and you have no hand to aid you! The right
is holding water and valuables, the left is frantically pulling the
pants –and underpants- up, which is not easy at all with only one hand;
the ground is slippery so your legs need to be as far apart as possible
to keep your balance, so you will need to stand up by the strength of
your abs and quadriceps alone.
Once you are outside, wash your hands
with the dirtier than mud soap you might find –if you are really
lucky-; I advise against using that gray towel for, if you look closely,
you will realize it used to be white. This is a great time to readjust
all your clothes as there is a good chance you have half of your
underwear sticking out and probably you are suffering from a brutal self
inflicted wedgie. Promise yourself you will never drink a drop of water
again, unless you are in your hotel room.
Last Toilet Tip?
NOT, under ANY circumstances, regardless of the urgency, go into the
toilet right after anybody who might be gesticulating as if they are
about to deliver triplets whilst rubbing her huge (non pregnant, just
fat) belly and doing a funny “dance”.
No matter how badly you may
need to use it, it is just not worth it, change queue and wait for the
next available stall… trust me on this one…

Ok, so how much…

D’oh!Posted by Gala Wed, June 16, 2010 05:24:35

Bargaining: the national sport in every Asian country… and I suck at it.
is a skill –if not a gene- required to be a successful Bargain Master,
as I travel it has become obvious that I absolutely lack it; I have
gotten better in some things, though: tuk-tuk drivers in Bangkok now
fear me, but for all the rest? Rubbish! Absolute rubbish!
understand that people need to make a living and the fluctuating tourism
industry can be a bit of a bitch, I am sensitive to the fact that I am
in a privileged position always and more so compared to the working
class in these parts of the world; I agree that I should pay higher
rates than locals when it comes to entertainment such as museums, sites,
landmarks, theatres, etc. after all, it is their country and they
should have feasible access to their own culture.
I don’t mind if
things are more expensive for me as a traveller, not at all! At the end
of it I have the choice to either take it or leave it; what drives me
absolutely mad is been (being?) taken for a fool, seriousy anger me! And
bargaining certainly lends itself to abuse.
There has to be some
common sense to it! I know it is a different mentality and all, but COME
ON PLEOPLE!!! You can’t possibly expect to pay off the mortgage from
that single cab ride with the Swedish tourist! Have some morals for
goodness sake!
I am sure there are some International Unwritten
Haggle Rules or Code of Hustling Ethics, SOMETHING!!! Even Pirates had a
code of honour! Well, if there is one it and certainly has not gotten
to Asia.
It is sensible to hike up a price, don’t know… 50% maybe?
Vendor offers 20, costumer 10, both agree on 15. I think this is pretty
What is NOT reasonable is to pimp it up to 500% for crying out loud!!!
to buy some fruit at the local market; the faces of the vendors
literally illuminate when they see me approaching their stalls and I can
assure you it is not my shinny personality; they frantically wave and
shout “Hello?! Hello?!? Want apple? Want mango? Come buy me, Mister!!
(not a good start if they are already calling me butchy dike…) so I take
a look at some bananas, safe enough fruit I don’t need to wash and
requires n preparation other than peeling it;
I point at 3 teeny puny little bananas and the woman, clearing her throat and looking me dead in the eye says:
“15 thousand”
I stare back thinking “she HAS GOT to be kidding me”
“Excuse me?” I say, slightly squinting my eyes in what is the beginning of an evil look.
“15 thousand rupee” fruitlady repeats
leave the bananas and just walk way, almost offended that she would
think me that stupid, al the while she is calling me back “ok! Ok! How
much you want to pay?!”
While I’m cursing away under my breath I see a
taxi driver buying some fruit and paying 75cents for 1k of bananas.
Unbelievable. He offers to drive me which feels like a great idea as I
am fuming both from the Banana Incident and the unbearable humid heat; I
am just not quite sure how far the hostal is:
“perhaps I can walk there?” I ask him; he points out that it is not far but it is so hot I should just jump into the cab.
“how much?” says I
“30,000” responds my driver
“Oh… that seems a bit much… is it that far away? better use the taximeter”
“No, not use meter! It will mark only 5,000”

Couldn’t believe it!
“so you want to charge me 25,000 more just like that?!”
He laughs
I shut the door and walk away all the while I hear him
“Ok! Ok! How much you want to pay Mister?!”

D’oh!Posted by Gala
Sun, June 06, 2010 07:43:30

trying to keep the vegetarian front strong, what a challenge this is in
the Eastern world! oddly enough I thought that it would be a walk in
the park to get veggies everywhere as in most countries meat is a pricey
food than not everybody can afford, BIG FAT mistake that was, they
sprinkle beef, chicken, pork, fish seafood on just about everything,
including desserts.

I have accepted the fact that I am a weird
eater… no pasta, potatoes or rice and I stay clear of fried stuff as
much as possible, I keep it healthy and keep it fresh. In Asia they have
3 elements in their menu: animals, fried and rice/noodles; add to the
mix the fact that I am unable to communicate and it is quite a circus.

am ashamed to admit I do not learn any local words beyond “please” and ”
thank you”; I am -however- extremely fluent in sign language which can
get me pretty much anything: from a size 9 silvery pair of sandals to a
Brazilian bikini wax; I have learned that unfortunately this does not go
so smoothly when it comes to food.

Starving! I stop at a place
next to the guest house to have a much needed meal, I always favor
markets and street stands… I like to live on the edge; so the Guy has
all sorts of things on display: pig heads, ducks, teeny birds and chunks
of brownish beef serving as a buffet bar to several dozens of flies. He
also has those lovely baskets with Dim Sum (snacks, the local
equivalent of Tapas or Garnachas).
I embark on my Mime language and
point to some round shaped things asking what they were (by means of an
upward nod and raising shoulders and hands, palms up) and the Guy breaks
out into a lively monologue in –what I guessed was- Thai so I tell him I
want to eat (cupping one hand and simulating chop stick-feeding motion
with the other) and ask again, he obviously doesn’t understand me when a
BRILLIANT idea hits me; my guest house was literally 3 doors down, so I
motion the international sign of “wait a second” (thumb and index
finger a couple of inches apart) which unfortunately is often confused
with the “you got a really small willy” sign

I run to the
reception and ask the kid to write down in those Thai cute little
symbols: “I am a vegetarian, please give me dinner with no meat, thank
you”; he hands me the paper looking somewhat bewildered and I go back to
my Guy; he looks the note and looks back at me with a blank look on his
face and a pointy fork in his hand.
By now I am truly famished, so I
say: “NO MEAT” a bit loudly…perhaps speaking in a very high pitched
voice helps? but nada, so I start making noises and saying whilst I
shake my head:

(shake head) NO Muuuuuuuu!
(shake head) NO Quack, Quack!
(shake head) NO Oink Oink!…this one came out pretty well, snorting noises n’ all
head) NO Cluck, cluck cluck!… at this point I was doing the chicken
dance, walking in circles around his stall, knees bent and clucking with
my hands tucked under my armpits.

The Guy just stands there
looking at me like I had just grown a second head. I point to the paper
so he reads again and looked up a bit frustrated/// at that moment I saw
the the proverbial writing on the wall: ALL China-like decoration and
symbols… this was a Cantonese restaurant and the he only spoke
Chinese… not a word of Thai.

I took the little note from him,
folded it neatly and put it in the back pocket of my jeans, held my head
up saying ”Domo Arigato” (Japanese, I know, but it is the closest I
have to China) and walked away to get me dinner at the 7/11 next door.

Don’t worry, be happy
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Fri, June 04, 2010 13:48:31

Off to Indonesia tomorrow; all I have is a plane ticket and a bag packed full of lovely Asian style silky clothes.
map, no hotel, no plan, no guide book; got some tips from friends and
that’s about all I need, the rest is to be found out as I go.

I’m at the top of the world right now, so very happy and things are looking wonderful from where I’m standing.

the untrained eye I might appear as homeless, over 40, unemployed an so
single I have become nuveaux spinster (been single so long that I
actually am one, 15 years I believe it is all I need to get back into
the club… 3 years to go!);

Aaah! but appearances can be
deceiving! I am actually living a long cherished communal dream: that
one where we all want to say a big fact FU*K you! to the world, flick
the bird and leave it all behind, no remorse and go live in an exotic
place and travel the world? ya know? that fantasy we all cherish at one
point or another? well: that IS my life right now.

I am not unemployed: I simply don’t have a boss
I am not single: I am free AND LOVED
I am not homeless: I have a home AND A FRIEND wherever I put by bag down
I am not over 40: I have just been born into adulthood

intuition tells me I am in the right path and finishing a stage with a
BOOM! and starting another with a BANG!; I am certain that the big wink
lady Liberty gave me some months back will finally materialize and my
new found friend will soon be making travels to Asia and write another
chapter to our story.

This blog should not make sense to
anybody… heck! makes no sense to me but I am am feeling so bloody good
about myself right now, I just don’t care.

On the road to recovery
Mushy Stuff / Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Sun, May 30, 2010 09:30:54


met a really very nice fellow, German, actually… go figure! but he is
also Pisces, so I guess that sort of redeems him…One of his many
accomplishments (unbeknown to him) is having started the process of
restoring my faith in men… NOT mankind but actual men.

believe (now) that yes, there are still actual good guys out there who
don’t play games nor claim not to while they REALLY do (really,
really!); guys who are polite, well mannered, chivalrous and Oh!
SURPRISE!: straight.

I have learned that I can still find men
42years and older who have slim waist line, a full head of hair and a
body that puts any any 20year old athlete to shame (and everything that
goes with it… oh yes…).

I was reminded that going out is fun
and not a competition, that I don’t have to be at all times guarded so I
am not caught by surprise when he makes his “move; great to know that
not every guy want to get in a girls pants… not as a first or second
-even third!- intention anyway.

Best thing? WONDERFUL not having to decide or take charge, lovely to meet with a Man with a Plan.

was all so very nice and despite the fact that he is not the Guy for
me, I am delighted for these couple of weeks I got to know him; I am in
the road to recovery and at this very moment I can happily and
OFFICIALLY declare that after 12 years:

The Horrid Reign of The Cowardly Undecided Men is finally over.

No more flaky dudes for this Browny! (Aha, you Boys know who you are…)

So bring ’em on! those Real Men with tight tushes!

Make a wish… geez!
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Sun, May 30, 2010 08:55:21

I wished that my Ex-Husband Frank (AKA Horrible Dr. No) lived happily
ever after in a far, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away land, i did not mean for
him to take my Children along!

Geez! I need to be MUCH more specific when I tap into my magic powers…

Psyche Layers of S*x
Mushy Stuff / Mariconad
Posted by Gala Sat, May 29, 2010 01:30:09

morning at breakfast there was a table with about 6 Japanese women;
they must have been between 28-35, perhaps a bit younger, always so hard
to tell with Asians and their wonderfully taken care of skin; in any
case they were a lively bunch: loads of giggles ooohhhh!!!’s and
aaaahhhh!!!’s, hiding behind the napkin shyly and cutesy poses… in
short: the type of women I would like to -furiously- bitch slap around.
they were leaving a couple of them were actually doing bunny hops and
“Singing in the Rain” routines, looking up to the sky extended arms,
going in big happy circles and all…. it was not raining.

were all dressed in that seemingly careless way which leaves no detail
unattended; hair messed up with a loose pony tail tilted to the side
with a flowery hair band, handkerchief around the head, long beach
dresses kinda unwillingly see thru (not sluttish, mind you) the lovely
beaded sandal, a je ne sais quois tied around the hip; I am rubbish at
describing, but they did look lovely in an allegoric Tim Burton meets
Hello kitty sort of way.

Observing the girly -childish, really-
behaviour, I could not help but think how intensely popular these type
of ladies are with men, especially western men, gosh they DROOL around
them! putty in their kiddie hands! Aahhhh!! And the girls know it, the
know soooo well and the more one salivates the more baby like the other

I came up with a twisted theory about this… normally
this girls are small in every way: somewhat short and tend to be flat
chested, take away the frills and the gloss and they are quite
androgynous looking… VERY difficult to tell men and women apart in the
way one cannot differentiate a pretty little boy from a little girl
except for the long hair and girlie clothes…. could it be that these
women satisfy the paedophile buried deep in the psyche of -almost- every

Please do not misunderstand! I am dead against any sort of
abuse on children, I think it is despicable and abusers should be
castrated (and the female equivalent). I do find it a mental and social
disease which must be punishable, persecuted, eradicated, yet one thing
we cannot deny is that there is this primitive, animal dark side that we
all have and are mostly are unaware of. We might suppress it, ignore it
or simply be in utter ignorance of its existence, but it is there,
ooohh it lives there, in all of us.

I believe that quite often
our actions respond directly to that dark side; might catch us by
surprise and we might not understand where certain reactions come from
or it might manifest itself in more socially acceptable ways, such as
going for girlie girls.

What ever the case may be, and as much
attention and longing these woman/girl may generate, I would not like to
be that way, I do think they are lovely! Pretty, feminine in a
seriously ridiculous way; they know their stuff and use it to their
advantage: they get tons of presents, money, trips and a nice parade of
men running behind them carrying parcels; still I cannot be like that…
disregarding the fact that I am double their size and most probably
would scare the living s*it out of the guys who like girlie girls;

for their ability to accessorize, I am not jealous of them at all.
There is something for everybody and I have my own public… oh yes!
another niche in the twisted psyche: the straight men who dig “amazonic”
women… which is polite for “she has balls the size of meteors and the
manly body that goes with them”…

Some other time I might explore the lure of the boyish hips and six pack abs… Because yes Darling… I got a pack o’ those…

D’oh!Posted by Gala
Fri, May 14, 2010 03:34:18

did not have enough of Vietnam, need to go back and do Sapa, re-do
Hanoi and back to Hue; it is such a shame I have absolutely no concept
of time! I actually believed I could visit my 12 points of interest in
10 days… I guess this is my overwhelming female logic which also leads
me to believe that my (yummylicious) butt fits in a S size.

place Vietnam! all my preconceived notions -not that many, to be
honest- have come crashing down, particularly those regarding the
American war, known to me ALWAYS as the Vietnam war; being heavily
influenced by the USA, their history, mentality and society, to me
Vietnamese were just a faceless mass of people, and being the pacifist
anti-imperialist I am, I always thought that US involvement in conflict
was a horrible and senseless intervention but the thing is, it was the
young American soldiers who perished there who were in my thoughts and
to a lesser extend the Viet-cong casualties… my, oh my! was this trip
an eye opener! I will not go into detail of the museums, Cu Chi tunnels
(sin albur!), prisons, torture devices, jungle, diseases, the 3 million
Vietnamese who died or the 56,000 American boys who never got to see
their families again… no, I won’t get into that because it affected me
seriously and also because it is too darned boring, so I will just go
on with my lighter hearted posts and ask the very profound question:

THE HECK IS UP WITH ASIAN MEN AND SPITTING?!! how can a tiny -teeny!-
little man produce such copious amounts of mucous and the force to spit
it -cannonball it is more accurate- MILES away?! It is not pleasant
waking up to a phlegmatic symphony and YOU KNOW I am not talking about
the emotionless disposition of the British when I say phlegmatic.. I am
actually talking about disgusting phlegm.

The other amazing
thing, specially in Saigon (now Ho Chi Min city) as every traveler will
tell you is crossing the street… road signs are decorative, traffic
regulations don’t even amount to romanticized guidelines; one must be a
true dare devil or city slicker to throw oneself onto the oncoming
traffic, oh yes! scooters (6 million of ‘em in the city) do not stop
even if their life depended on it… and sometimes it does!

trick is to make eye contact with the driver, let him know that YOU are
gonna walk through and you are ready to kill him and his first born if
he doesn’t let you go through, let him feel the rage and the hate and
then just throw yourself at his vehicle, chest pumped forward .Do be
sure you look both ways for those in a hurry who are riding on the wrong
side of the road invading not the second, but 3rd and 4th lanes.

trick is to swing a bag like a traditional hooker: make BIG circles
with it so it becomes some sort of weapon, bicycles, tuc-tucs &
motorcycles respond really well to this technique. a word of advice:
ensure your purse is zipped and you don’t have loose objects on the side
pockets if using a rucksack or you will find yourself running between
cars to retrieve your items from the road…

Another personal
favourite is the Matador style: think of ’em cars as bulls and you are
in the middle of a Faena or better yet! the Pamplonada! one must show
courage, strength and focus while running across, a little red
handkerchief tied on your neck looks nice but not of the essence, I find
that shouting OLE!!! every time I pass a car gives me confidence.

those dance moves come in really handy! the swaying of the hips is
ideal for avoiding lusty or pick-pocketing hands, as well as knocking
over a cyclist, don’t be afraid to moonwalk between cars on a red light
and most certainly do the ballerina thing of putting your arms over your
head while you tip toe and hop among vehicles, f anything, they might
slow down a bit to take a better look at the crazed foreigner.
More unwanted advice coming your way soon.


Mushy Stuff / Mariconadas
Posted by Gala Tue, May 11, 2010 05:23:33

delusion |diˈloō zh ən|
idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite
being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational
argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder.

I just
met up with a… friend. It is funny how we use the word so loosely…
it seems that any relationship that we are uncertain about gets thrown
it in the “friendship” bin be it somebody we know for 1 month or 10
years but never really keep in touch; one can sleep with somebody 30
times and be uncertain if we are friends and the truth of the matter is
that if push comes to shove, that person would probably be the last one
we would turn in case of need.

Luckily this day and age provides
us with a full coloring palette of terms: just friends, guyfriend,
galfriend, fuck friend, mate, homie, bonk fried, FWB (friend with
benefits), bro, bff/ bmf (best female/male friend) and the list goes on.

I’m unable to find the adequate term for this individual… in any case
it was just such a horrible encounter in almost every way possible;
man! what a disaster! I don’t think anything at all went well… what I
thought was a nice couple of hours turns out was awfully unpleasant for
him as I came across as an abrasive bulldozer in the attempt of giving
him a tour of the city.

Worst of all? I was completely
delusional! I walked into this thinking I would meet again with this
amazing “somebody” who has been occupying my thoughts for quite a while
and what I found was this complete stranger who seriously had not the
most remote interest in anything that had to do with me. Needless to
say, to him it was equally disappointing to meet with a hysterical
monster that I turned out to be, ah! but you see, I should consider
myself lucky as i got some hugs so I would not feel bad, as I later was
informed… pitiful affection, the nerve!!

My, my, my! how very
unpleasant and confusing it all was! what a mass of contradictions and
mixed signals! how badly I respond to uncertainty and contradictory
messages! How can anything go SO wrong in absolutely every way?!?!?

question that pesters me is: when we met last year and encountered pure
and absolute magic, was it all fake then? did I imagine it all?! how
can somebody be so incredibly different?! we are not talking a little I
mean, this was to the level of “show me your passport and birthmarks
cause I just do NOT believe you are the same person”; unfortunately my
reactions are utterly disproportionate (I curse myself) and i started
doubting everything and wanting to run away just to comeback again… it
was like being stuck in an episode of “the Twilight zone” where
everything appears normal but in reality nothing is what it seems…
VERY unsettling!

I think I am just not cut for this romance
thing; It makes me rethink my stand on arranged marriages: it is OBVIOUS
I am just crap at choosing for myself, I don’t think anybody else can
do a worse job.

Totally bummed out.

D’oh!Posted by Gala
Thu, April 29, 2010 22:33:59

In Nam at the moment, sooooo many blog entries to write I will need to take a full weekend to do so.

outstanding impression is the ability of people to drop a load off
anywhere on the street and set up a business, be it shoe repair, mini
restaurant (with hot broths, deep frying pans, fresh produce and dead
ducks & little porks), hair dresses, clothes, bags, pedi-mani or nit
picking central (se sacan piojos a veces, de veras!) after brushing off
the nits, you are received with a smile -or not- and offered a 5 course
meal… all on the sidewalk.

Live and learn!

Shopping in Asia
D’oh!Posted by Gala
Mon, April 19, 2010 11:29:32

I became a minimalist, homeless, backpacker and airlines have this
totally ridiculous 20k policy, shopping is way down in my list of
priorities, nonetheless at times there are things that I actually NEED
to get; normally there is no problem finding anything in Asia, now
finding something that fits? well… that is something else.

got rid of 90% of my clothes and just kept what I needed, some of which
is not precisely backpacker style but it seemed silly to buy stuff just
to dress down, so I kept the very basic including underwear -of course-
which I now realize there was nothing basic about it: laces, sheers,
hearts, dots and all the styles you can imagine, but NOTHING fit to
rough it in South East Asia… you CANNOT be sitting in a bus 16 hours
wearing a frilled thong bikini.

So I go to a large store in Pnom Pheng, Cambodia to look for some Granny underwear.

always knew Asian girls were small, I just was not aware I was so
damned big! ALL bras had stuffing in them, I mean serious stuff! like a
turkey in Easter time! these ladies are flat as boards! and if I thought
my underwear was girlie the one I found made me think of whore houses
circa 1920 or what German woman would wear during WWII, no middle way.

finally find some sensible bottoms (gave up on the bras, when I told
the girl my size she open her eyes so wide I was afraid they would pop
out… so I have a broad back, so WHAT???) I took a disheartened look at
them and then reminded myself of my vow of celibacy and they did not
seem that bad, but they were “L” and looked rather big.
I come up to
the scared looking sales clerk and point out to the width of the
underpants and my hips and she shakes her head and says Ooohhh nooo, TOO
big! I agree with her as those nickers looked like a tent and wait
while she goes to the back office. Due to my boyish hips in the USA I
take a size M and it tends to be a on the very comfy side S being a bit
too small, so I was hoping the girl would find something smaller than L.

she came out she displayed a gross piece of material with a big fat
label XL for a big fat ass saying proudly “this good!” and -pointing to
my butt: “too big!”. It was the most indignant moment ever: she took
them out, stretched them and put them over my clothes like overbearing
embarrassing Moms do whilst saying all the while “gooood!!!”.

turned around and left, I did not understand what was going on, so I
followed a minute later just to find her at the register where the
cashier was already marking the items, it just seemed so complicated
trying to explain that there was a horrible mistake and that NO WAY was I
a size XL, so I said thank you and quietly paid, thinking I could leave
them behind in the Guest House and perhaps the owner would think it was
a new blanket I had kindly donated.

When I got home, just out of curiosity I tried them on, just to have a laugh…

They fit… they fit perfectly and snugly too… SO depressing!

Darned tiny, tiny Asians and their tainted sizes.

April 15
PhotosPosted by Gala
Thu, April 15, 2010 06:22:04

It is my Boys’ birthday and I am a bit melancholy.
I have not spend even half of their bdays with them.

am happy they are healthy, good hearted, responsible, reliable,
handsome, smart, genuinely good, focused, studious, intelligent and very
sweet. (also smart assed and messy, but who cares?!). VERY proud of my

Today I miss them terribly.

They are turning 16.

I am too young to have such old kids!

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